Serbian wedding traditions

LIVELY, LOUD and LAVISH

As we mention, our wedding is an international wedding with a Serbian touch.

There are far more traditions, and we will only go for a few which we believe are fun. Let's start with the fact that inviting extended family and friends is a must and not being invited to a wedding might cause even feelings of insult.

So a usual wedding party can easily start with 200 guests.

So will our wedding, too :-)

In the church

Church ceremony lasts around 30mins.

Ceremony begins with blessings of the rings. The priest or the Kum/Kuma exchanges the rings between the couples fingers three times which signifies that the weakness of one will be compensated by the other.

After the rings are exchanged, the priest gives the couple lit candles to hold in their left hands. The burning flames symbolize the couple’s spiritual willingness to receive God’s blessings.

The priest joins the couples right hands together with a white garment while praying for their marriage. The tied hands are a symbol of “oneness” and they remain joined for the remainder of the service.

While the couple is facing the altar the priest places the crowns on their heads. A crown alone is a symbol of glory and honour. In church, on the wedding day, the crowning represents the royalty of marriage.

The priest lets the groom and the bride take three sips of wine out of a common cup. The cup represents life and symbolizes the couple’s mutual sharing of joy and sorrow.

Then the couple walks around the table: These are the couple’s first steps as husband and wife following the church (priest leading them).

After the ceremony, guests exit church and wait for the couple to come out. When the couple crosses the church’s doorstep, the Kum/Kuma tosses coins and candy in the air. This gets kids to scamper around looking to pick up as many coins and sweets as they can hold. This ritual is believed to promise financial prosperity and a sweet life.

This is also the moment when the Bouquet is tossed by the bride!

VIPs

There are certain people who play a very important role in a Serbian wedding. Being chosen for one of these roles is a big honor. These members also get a special decor, which is a sash carried diagonally over the body.

Let's start with the most important:

The Kum (male) / Kuma (female):

This is considered as the best man and/or maid of honour. In Serbian culture, being chosen for this role is the highest of honours. The ‘Kum’ and ‘Kuma’ are important people in the couple’s lives – they act as a witness or spiritual advisor to protect the marriage. The Kum/Kuma is usually not a related family member, but a very close friend.

The Dever: The bride keeper. Usually it is the brother or a close male relative of the groom. His role is to take care of the bride before the ceremony and make sure she's not stolen or runs away.

The Barjaktar - the flag bearer: The Flag Bearer has to lead the wedding crowd by waving the flag. This occurs any time the guests are walking as a group, including when the bridal party walks into the Church and the reception.

The Stari Svat: beside the Kum/Kuma, the Stari Svat is the second witness at the wedding. In addition, his role is to make sure everything goes smooth and the guests are having a good time.

The Stari Svat is most often an elderly male family member and is considered to be a "wise man" where the the couple can go to as a source of advise and knowledge.

The Kolo

It is widely said in Serbia from the old times "who sings doesn't think evil", which applies to dancing as well. Kolo is a traditional, collective folk dance and it is performed to the accompaniment of music at private and public gatherings and involves everybody who want to dance.

Performances during celebrations of the most important events in individuals’ and communities’ lives make this element very present and sustainable at all levels. In 2017, the "Kolo" has been inscribed on the Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.

Learn here how to dance the Kolo and surprise the Serbians with your performance! In addition, it's easy, fun and it's also a good workout-session.

The Rosemary

Decorating the guests with rosemary at weddings is an important custom. Rosemary has not only strong healing characteristics but is also considered to promote good memory. Therefore, right upon arrival, each guest gets a piece of Rosemary attached to your body (men get a piece on their rever, girls get a bracelet) so they will remember the party for a long long time.

The Rosemary shall not only protect the memory, but also the loyalty between the couple and the promised wedding vows.

--> for single guys: the girls attaching the Rosemary are always single! They are doing this job to present themselves as the next brides.

--> you are expected to leave them some money for their effort (everything between 10-100 EUR).

--> Guests wearing the Deco on the right side are taken, those wearing it on the left side are free!

The Buklija

First thing that you will notice at Serbian weddings is the Buklija. It is a round, decorated, wooden bottle, filled with homemade Rakija. It has a strap and can be carried around like a purse. This is the only purse-like object that men will not resist to have:). Family members welcome the guests with the Buklija.

Btw at each wedding, there is always that one uncle, that if you happen to make eye contact with him, he will not let you go until you take a sip out of his fancy bottle.

Buying the bride

Luckily, today this custom is used for fun.

It is the groom’s brother or cousin that negotiates with the bride’s family.

It turns into a really fun time when the two sides battle over how little or how much more they should pay.

Finally, the bride comes out and the brother or cousin of the groom stays by her side to keep her “safe” until the ceremony.

This happens just shortly before the church ceremony. The groom meets his bride before the church ceremony and they go together to church.

RAKIJA

One of the first things you should do when getting to know the culture of the Serbian people is to taste the Serbian Rakija.

On our wedding party, there will be a “Rakija Bar” where you have the unique opportunity to taste many different Rakijas.

Serbians take much pride in producing Rakija. Making your Rakija is no exception. Every Serbian either makes their own Rakija, has a cousin who makes it, or just knows somebody who makes it.

Fun Fact: Mary’s Grandma, who has unfortunately passesd away last year, has 20 years ago prepared 50 Litres of Rakija for Marys wedding. It has finally come the time, this Rakija can be consumed.

Among the Serbs, it is accepted to drink Rakija at any time of the day, even in the mornings it is considered that a glass of Rakija is good for you (not more than 2).

Although Rakija is served in shot glasses, you should not drink it all in one sip. Please don’t treat it like Tequilla. Rakija is taken with a lot of respect and therefore drunk in small sips.

Please be aware of that and don’t overdo, especially if you are not trained to drink tough liquor. Rakija can quickly put you in a tipsy state.

PS: If a local is offering you Rakija or asking you to drink it from the Buklija, you are expected to take some. If you don’t feel like drinking directly out of the Buklija (because is shared among many people), grab a glass you can find around you and ask the person to pour some in your glass.